Real Self-Care for Moms
So often, self-care suggestions for moms are things like bubble baths and manicures, which are perfectly nice but don’t do much more than offer a few minutes of solitude before re-entering the hectic world of parenting. Real self-care for moms involves more than an hour of relaxation; it’s learning behaviors and tools that support good mental and physical health and allow us to calm our stress.
“Self-care for mothers means we have a tool kit for daily living, not a “break glass in case of emergency” escape plan.”
Psychologist Christine Meinecke may say it best. She defines self-care as:
“…choosing behaviors that balance the effects of emotional and physical stressors: exercising, eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, practicing yoga or meditation or relaxation techniques, abstaining from substance abuse, pursuing creative outlets, engaging in psychotherapy. Also essential to selfcare is learning to self-soothe or calm our physical and emotional distress.”
We love how Sarah Rudell Beach broke it down further, in Pathways to Family Wellness. She says:
“…Meaningful self-care for mothers, I would argue, means that we feel truly nurtured and whole where we live day after day…in the crazy zoo of raising little children!
It means we engage in sustainable and doable practices that promote well-being and act as antidotes to the frazzling created by the day-to-day work of parenting.
It means we find ways to be present. It means we find ways to cultivate compassion—for our children and ourselves.
It means we take time for silence—for prayer, meditation, or just three deep breaths—so that we have a stillness and peace that sustains us during the crazybusynoisy moments of our day.’
Parenting is messy, and hard, and funny, and exhausting, and sometimes, more than you think you can handle. But you can do it, mama!
A fundamental element of real self-care for moms is mindfulness, being in the moment, without judgment. Mindfulness offers up space to breathe and think, rather than reacting on autopilot. Mindfulness won’t make your baby cry less, your toddler stop wetting the bed, or your teenager stop pushing boundaries. But it will help you find the mental space to parent with more clarity and peace.
You might also enjoy our blog, For specific suggestions to help you be a more present parent - without trying to be a superhero! -visit our blog, Enjoy Your Kids with Mindful Parenting. If you’re new to mindfulness practice, you may also enjoy reading about How Meditation Changes Your Brain.
Give yourself the gift of self-care this year by learning more about mindfulness and finding ways to take care of your own physical and mental health.