Share the Power of Your Stable Nervous System
If you’ve spent much time around kids, you know there’s no reasoning with a toddler who’s mid-tantrum or an older child who’s in the throes of overwhelm or worry. The same is true for adults! It’s hard to resolve a problem in the middle of an emotional storm. So what can you do to help calm someone who’s angry, anxious, or overwhelmed? Share the power of your stable nervous system.
It’s not as complicated as it sounds.
Sharing your stable nervous system is a form of mindfulness. By being a calming presence, you can help bring someone else’s emotional state back to equilibrium, or something closer to it. In other words, by sitting calmly with them, you can “be the anchor in their proverbial storm.”
“We cultivate this gift, this secret power of our own stable nervous system, each time we sit in stillness. Each time we take a few moments to notice our breath, we invite regulation into our system. And because we are members of a co-regulating species of mammals, our regulation invites the nervous systems around us to regulate as well.”
The next time your child - or anyone you know - seems distraught, give them the gift of your stability. There are several ways to do it, but the main idea is that you remain calm and give them space to talk through their concerns or simply breathe with you. The article, Share the Power of Your Stable Nervous System, offers some specific examples of how to offer your regulated state.
You may also be interested in learning how to Enjoy Your Kids with Mindful Parenting.
“We come into this world immature and dysregulated, and it’s only through the soothing voices, gentle touches, and reciprocal attention of our caregivers that we learn to experience stillness, safety, and peace.”
Learn more about mindfulness practices you can try at home with this video of Belly Breathing with Dr. Joe and Luna.
View the full article in Pathways to Wellness, Issue # 65.